On the Chopping Block
Updated: Feb 27
Here it is the end of February and in case anyone out there was wondering, Yes, I'm still alive. In case you're keeping track, the last time I blogged - I was having shoulder pain that was interfering with everything in my day-to-day life. To make a long story short, it only got worse and worse and then worse again until I spent every moment in pain and ended each day packed in ice with my husband helping me undress as I couldn't get my arms over my head without sobbing. After trying everything the docs could come up with and having several procedures and lots of images, I got booked for a breast reduction. For those of you who don't know me, my breasts were GG in size. Yes, you read that right, GG as in gigantic ginormous. Years of dragging their weight around had finally taken its toll. As the saying goes, the straw finally broke the camel's back or, more precisely, my shoulder and neck. On November 11, 2022, I went under the knife for several procedures. Now, fair warning that I might get graphic here so close up this post if that bothers you.
Since I was going under anesthesia anyway, I decided it was a good time to get the hernia that was bulging out my belly button repaired. Then, since the doc was already in there, I figured what the heck? Let's get the Diastis Recti fixed too. For those of you who don't know what that means, here's the short and skinny of it. I had my first baby when I was 19 and only weighed 95 pounds. As a result, my abdominal wall separated completely and never went back. I then followed that with 2 more babies and a hysterectomy and spent the next 25+ years with that separation. Now, what most people don't know is that having your abdominal wall split means you don't have the core support you need to hold your body up, keep your balance, hold in your urine and other internal organs. So, what happens is that you get a lot of back pain as it takes on a load it was not structured to have. You pee your pants when you laugh/sneeze/jump/run etc. You never look in shape no matter how much you exercise. Your internal organs don't get the support they need which makes them less efficient over time. To put it bluntly it's NOT about vanity to get this repaired. Let me repeat that. It's not VAIN to get this repaired. You will find out why I took the time to explain all this later in my blog.
So, to recap, on November 11, 2022, I went to a plastic surgeon who reduced the size of my breasts by 4 pounds total. This involved removing my nipples and putting them back on when he was done. He got me down to a high B/low C cup. He repaired the hernia I had been living with for years and no one seemed concerned about. Then, he made an incision from hip to hip so he could pull back all the skin and go inside to repair my abdominal wall and then chop off the giant piece of excess skin that had been hanging off the bottom of my belly since I was 19 years old. This is both the hardest thing I have ever gone through physically and the best thing I have ever done for myself.
I want to be clear. I am proud to be mother to my 3 children who have enriched my life in more ways than I can ever count. I don't regret having them or what it did to me physically. I DO wish someone had offered me these options a LONG time ago before it became a chronic pain situation. Is my shoulder/neck better now? It is 80% better. Immediately after the surgery it was noticeable that the weight of my breasts was definitely causing the problem. Now, I need to repair the lingering damage and I'm working on it. It won't happen overnight. The good news is that I have my life back. I'm typing again, crafting, knitting, going for walks, looking forward to gardening in the spring. My abdominal wall is still recovering and will be for many months to come but it's getting there little by little. It's hard for me to hold back and not do too much to be honest but I'm doing my best cause if I don't I have to take 2 steps back. I'm not in my 20s anymore so the healing process takes a lot longer than it used to for sure. All the places on the internet that say recovery from this is 6 weeks are full of it. But, to put it in perspective, the first 2 weeks after the surgery I couldn't even get out of a chair on my own. Thank goodness I have the most supportive, amazing husband on the planet.
So, what is all this blathering leading up to? Well, here it is. I have been embarrassed/ashamed/afraid to tell people that I got a tummy tuck and I need to let that go. I got a tummy tuck. I got a full tummy tuck, not a mini but the full tummy tuck with hernia repair. At the same time as my tummy tuck I got breast reduction. I have been feeling that people will think less of me because I got a tummy tuck, that they will think I'm vain and that I think I'm something special but that's wrong thinking. I got a tummy tuck because it is going to make me healthier, stronger and, yes, happier about how I look. I got a tummy tuck, a hernia repair and a breast reduction and I'm not ashamed of any of it. And, I'm just going to say it without apology and with bad language. I got a tummy tuck, hernia repair and breast reduction and it's the hardest fucking thing I've ever been through physically but it's also the best fucking thing I've ever done for myself and I deserve it.
P.S - Thank you Stacy for listening.....